As a transgender person, Ridim, (He) 23, has weathered a lot of challenges at this young age. He has worked as a bartender, swimming instructor, healthcare staff and security guard until he lost his job due to the pandemic and started a flower selling business recently. His story is about finding inspiration in the darkest of moments, especially darker for a transgender person.

Ridim was born as Sweta Bannerjee and assigned a female gender at birth. It has been an uphill task for Ridim to explain his predicament to his family. When he lost his last job as a security personnel, Ridim’s love for flowers gave him a sudden inspiration.

His hometown Konnagar is 20 km away from Kolkata. The lockdown meant the local trains were not plying for a prolonged period of 8 months. Therefore Ridim's bicycle became his trusted steed, his only means of transport to reach the flower market. In the darkness, before dawn, Ridim would cycle through the dimly lit bylanes snaking through desolate fields. This was his usual route to reach the highway while the curfew was in place.

"When I came up with my business idea(to sell flowers), my friends were full of enthusiasm. They helped me out by cutting small branches from trees to set up a tent and make this tabletop. And that's how my tiny shop was born," says Ridim.

When Ridim started in the flower business, he had no idea about the art of haggling. After months of trial and error now he is quite seasoned now.

Ridim is now used to carrying heavy loads and negotiate his way through the crowded market. His phone got stolen in the crowd recently. Even though it is troublesome, he leaves his new phone at home now.

Once home from the market, Ridim takes some time to unwind. Pointing towards the scribblings adorning the mirror, he shares, "Those are the names of the girls I fell for".

Ridim recently broke up with his girlfriend, a relationship of 6 years. “Although I have gone through a lot of heartbreaks in my life, but I never tend to learn a lesson from them. I trust people very easily” sighs Ridim.

"I have always wanted to style my hair into spikes, just like other boys. But my folks refuse to let me," rues Ridim. But he makes up for that by applying a little serum when no one is looking.

“My neighbours have always been very curious about my orientation and my whereabouts. They would often gossip behind me. But when I started my business during the lockdown, they have really shown their support by buying flowers from my shop, instead of going to the market. Some would even come straight to my house and wake me up early in the morning even before opening my shop to buy flowers”, smiles Ridim."

"Lily, my neighbour's pet cat, always keeps me company. I have made her my business partner," laughs Ridim.

"Mostly my neighbours come to buy flowers from my shop. But I am planning to shift the shop out of my house to a more visible intersection. That way I can draw more customers from other localities as well," says Ridim.

Ridim can only make a couple of visits to the market every week. Every day he checks whether his flowers are still fresh.

To this day, Ridim’s parents are in denial about his gender identity. He is still humiliated by them before their extended family. "About 9 pm my family converges around the T.V. Though sitting in the same room, we continue to live in our own bubbles. We hardly ever find a common ground to communicate."

Not being able to relate to the hetero-normative society around him, he finds solace in nature. If money was no object, he would invest in an aviary. As for now, he holds his little garden close to his heart.

When I asked whether he wanted to remain anonymous in my project, Ridim's reply was quick: "No, I want people to see me for who I am. My transness is not a disease."